Today I'm thrilled to be taking part in the My Sister blog tour. As part of the blog tour you can read the first chapter on my blog.
BLURB
MY NAME IS IRINI
I WAS GIVEN AWAY
MY NAME IS ELLE
I WAS KEPT
All her life Irini thought she was given away because her family didn't want her. What if the truth is something far worse?
TWO SISTERS. TWO SEPARATE LIVES. ONE FAMILY BOUND BY A HARROWING SECRET
CHAPTER ONE
The buzzing
of my telephone is like the scuttling of a cockroach underneath the bed. No
real danger, yet still I am terrified. The same fear that a knock on the door
just before bedtime brings, always bad news, or a murderer there to live out a
fantasy. I look back and see Antonio sleeping by my side, naked save for a
white sheet draped over his hip like an unfastened toga. His breath glides in
and out, comfortable, at peace. I know the dreams that come to him are good,
because he smacks his lips and his muscles twitch like a contented baby. I
glance at the red numbers glowing on the alarm clock: 2.02 a.m., a warning
sign.
I reach for
the phone, my movements slow, and glance at the screen. Unknown number. I press
the green button to answer the call and hear the bright, cheerful voice. But
it’s a lie, designed to fool or blind. ‘Hi, it’s me. Hello?’ It waits for an
answer. ‘Can you hear me?’
I pull the
sheet higher, protecting myself as a chill spreads across my skin. I cover my
breasts, the left of which hangs just a bit lower than the right. The beauty of
fifteen degrees of scoliosis. It is Elle’s voice I hear, the one I knew it
would be. The last remaining connection to a past I have tried to forget. Yet
still, even after six years of absence she has managed to scramble up the walls
of the chasm I have gouged between us, wriggle her way back in like a worm
through mud and find me.
I reach up,
turn on the lamp, illuminating the darkest monster-filled corners of the room.
When I raise the phone to my ear I can still hear her breathing, creeping out
of the shadows, waiting for me to speak.
I roll away
from Antonio, wince as my hip throbs with the movement. ‘What do you want?’ I
ask, trying to sound confident. I have learnt not to be polite, not to engage.
It helps not to encourage her.
‘To talk to
you, so don’t you dare hang up. Why are you whispering?’ I hear her giggle,
like we are friends, like this is just a normal conversation between silly
teenage girls. But it isn’t. We both know it. I should hang up despite her
threat, but I can’t. It’s already too late for that.
‘It’s the
middle of the night.’ I can hear the quiver in my voice. I’m shivering. I
swallow hard.
There’s a
rustle as she checks the clock. Where is she now? What does she want this time?
‘Actually, it’s the early hours of the morning, but whatever.’
‘What do you want?’ I ask again, aware that
she is picking at my skin, creeping under the layers.
Elle is my
sister. My only sister from a previous life from which I have kept few
memories. The memories I do have are blurry, as if I am looking back through a
window drenched in heavy rain. I’m not even sure if they represent reality any
more. Twenty-nine years is a long time for them to morph, transform into
something else.
My second
life, the one I am stuck in now, began when I was three years old. It was a
bright spring day; the frosts of winter had melted and the animals in the
nearby woods were venturing from their dens for the first time. I was wrapped
in a thick woollen coat, so many layers of clothes that my joints were
immobile. The woman who had given birth to me pulled red woollen mittens on to
my hands without saying a word. What a three-year-old remembers.
She carried
me along a dry, muddy path intersected by grass until we arrived at a waiting
car up ahead. I was a late developer, and parts of me, like my hip (a poorly
formed socket held together by loose, stringy tendons),hadn’t really developed
at all. I hadn’t managed the whole walking thing. I didn’t put up a fight when
she pushed me into the back seat and strapped me in. At least I don’t think I
did. Maybe I don’t really remember anything, and this is all just a trick of
the mind, to make me feel that I have a past. A life where I had parents. A
past with somebody other than Elle.
Sometimes I
think I can remember my mother’s face: like mine, only older, redder, wrinkles
like a spider’s web weaving around her lips. Other times I’m not so sure. But
I’m sure that she didn’t offer any last-minute advice to be a good girl, no
quick kiss on the cheek to tide me over. I would have remembered that, wouldn’t
I? She slammed the car door, stepped back, and my aunt and uncle drove me away
from her like it was the most normal thing in the world. And even then I knew
something was over. I had been given away, cast out, dumped.
‘Are you
listening to me, Irini? I told you I want to talk to you.’ Her sharp voice
comes through quick as a blade, wrenching me back to the present.
‘What
about?’ I whisper, knowing that it has already begun again. I can feel her on
me, slithering back into place.
I listen as
she draws in a breath, trying to calm herself. ‘How long is it since we spoke?’
I edge
further away from Antonio. I don’t want to wake him up. ‘Elle, it’s two in the
morning. I have work tomorrow. I don’t have time for this now.’ It’s a pathetic
attempt, but I have to try. One last effort to keep her away.
‘Liar,’
she spits. And I know that’s it, I’ve done it. I have made her angry. I throw
the covers off, swing my feet out of the bed and brush my fringe from my eyes.
My pulse is racing as I grip the phone to my ear. ‘It’s Sunday tomorrow. You
don’t have work.’
‘Please,
just tell me what you want.’
‘It’s Mum.’
The word jars me when she uses it so casually. Drops it like a friend might use
a nickname. It feels alien, makes me feel exposed. Mum, she says. As if I know
her. As if somehow she belongs to me.
‘What about
her?’ I whisper.
‘She died.’
Moments pass
before I breathe. She’s gone, I think. I’ve lost her again. I cover my mouth
with a sweaty palm. Elle waits for a response, but when I offer nothing she
eventually asks, ‘Well, are you going to come to the funeral?’
It’s a
reasonable question, but one for which I have no answer. Because to me, mother
is nothing more than an idea, a childish hope. A dream. But my nagging
curiosity spurs me on. There are things I need to know.
‘I guess,’ I
stutter.
‘Don’t force
yourself. It’s not like they’d miss you if you didn’t.’
I wish that
didn’t hurt, but the knowledge that my presence would not be missed is a
painful reminder of reality even after all these years. ‘So why ask me to
come?’ I say, aware that my mask of confidence is slipping.
‘Because I
need you there.’ She speaks as if she is surprised I don’t already understand,
as if she doesn’t know that I dodge her phone calls, or that I’ve changed my
number twenty-three times, and moved house, just to stop her from finding me.
Six years I have kept the distance, my best run yet. But she weakens me, and to
be needed by her makes me limp. Pliable. ‘And you still owe me, Irini. Or have
you forgotten the things I’ve done for you?’
She’s right.
I do owe her. How could I have forgotten? Our parents might have given me away,
but Elle never accepted it. She has spent her life clawing her way back to me,
her presence littering my past like debris after a storm. ‘No, I haven’t
forgotten,’ I admit, as I turn and take a look at Antonio still fast asleep. I
squeeze my eyes shut, as if I can make it all go away. I’m not here. You can’t
see me. Childish. A tear sneaks out as I clench the sheet tight in my fist. I
want to ask her how she got my number this time. Somebody must have it. Maybe
Aunt Jemima, the only mother figure I have ever known. If she was still taking
my calls I could contact her to ask. Let her know what I think of this latest
familial betrayal.
‘Call me
tomorrow if you are coming,’ Elle says. ‘I hope you can. Don’t make me come to
London to find you myself.’ She hangs up the phone before I have a chance to
answer.
ABOUT MICHELLE
MICHELLE ADAMS grew up in the UK and now lives in Cyprus, where she works as a part-time scientist. She read her first Stephen King novel at the tender age of nine, and has been addicted to suspense fiction ever since. MY SISTER is her first novel. Follow Michelle at @MAdamswriter
Thank you to Millie Seaward at Headline for sending me a copy of the book and for a place on the blog tour.
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